My Reality

I've always been capable
to hide of what I am not
before even considering
to give the real me a thought

I hide away the terror
the weakness and fear
only to show now,
what really isn't there

My smile's an illusion
differenced between ups and downs
because what's really there
is nothing but a frown

My smile's like a drug
it's a sin not a deed
an illegal way hiding
what I really need

When there's people around
I take them like there's no tomorrow
but when the drug runs out
it reveals my inside sorrow

From what I display,
life is nothing but good
but when it's reality
the darkness is where I stood

My fool proof disguise is day
my full personality is night
my reality is the sorrow
in which provides no light

no matter how cheerful the illusion
a quick stab with a knife,
my reality is my sorrow
in which provides no light

And no matter how strong the smile
how much it's in sight
my reality is my sorrow
that keeps me up at night


[Published: 11.11.08]